Every year it's the same thing; at least for me. Let me introduce you to my Christmas-time internal monologue. "Hustle bustle, the holidays are here! Plan who's home you are going to for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Christmas Eve, - are you going to take off work? When are you leaving? Is it just you? For how long? Are we doing Pollyanna? Is someone else going to get me a gift?" *In-depth analysis of all of your friendships and relationships to determine who is likely to give you a gift. Mind you, this can be the most stressful of all* "Gotta get to the mall! There's no parking!! Would ___ really want this? What would ____ really want?" (repeat as needed with at least one time for every person you need to get a gift for, or who you think may have put you on their list.) And then inevitably, even the most organized holiday shopper will find themselves in a last minute scurry for either a) the one person they forgot, or b) the one person who they just could not find a good enough gift for. This is the most dangerous, because although you set out with the best of intentions, you usually settle on a watch or something techno-oriented for a guy, or the DREADED Bath and Body Works giftbasket for a girl. And then you wait in dread hoping that the gift they gave you doesn't swim circle around your last-minute gift.
Then the Christians have a whole new level of anxiety. It's the reason for the season!! Either someone reminds you that the holiday season is about preparing room in our hearts for the Savior of the World (which makes you even more anxious wondering - 'OMG, am I not prepared?!? I need to focus on God more this holiday season!') or you just realize that you are again totally buying into the commercialism of the holiday and rushing and buying just enough to get by.
Then FINALLY Christmas ends, and you would like to take a deep breath and just sleep for a month. But that isn't the case. People want to know what you are doing for New Years. What are the resolutions you are going to make? So you open up your wallet to see what measley dollars you have left from the bustling Christmas shopping, and unless you are in the lucky few that got cash for Christmas, I can assume you are not finding as much as you would like. So there go the wheels again. Where do you go for New Years? (and if you are in my particular age/gender bracket) WHAT THE HECK DO I WEAR?!? So again you truck to the mall, although you've sworn it off for at least the next two months, and are slightly more satisfied when you learn that everything is on sale now (add to the frustration if you bought previously mentioned sales items at the regular price). You find a cute dress, you finally settle on where - and more importantly WHO - to celebrate New Year's with.
Then comes the making of the resolutions. And if you thought everything leading up to this was stressful, just wait! The resolution says a lot about who you are. And people are going to ask. People want to know what you want or hope to see in your life over the next year. Sometimes for selfish reasons to one-up you, but sometimes just because they like you and want to know. But be careful what you say! Even the most well-intended New Year's Resolutions can come back to haunt you. Like remember that year you were going to write in your diary or journal every day? Remember that year you were going to do a quiet time every day? Remember that year you wanted to not date anyone, or lose 15lbs, or go on a beautiful trip you never went on? Not only do you remember it, but I bet some of your friends remember it. And not in a malicious way, but when someone tells me they are gonna lose 20 pounds in the next year, I hope they do! And I wait for it. And more often than not it doesn't happen. New Years Resolutions are a way for you and those around you to measure you up against what you have or have not achieved. Do you always set lofty goals for yourself that you never achieve? Or do you ensure that you are evaluating what you want from yourself over the next year, and really push yourself to that?
There is a bit of disappointment that lingers in the New Years Resolution, and that is the disappointing fact that we can't be perfect. It's sobering and true, but sometimes our New Years Resolutions are our way to highlight the things about us that we want to change - that stand in our way of being perfect.
Now, after going through all that, I need to identify my New Years Resolution. (You might think I scared my way out of it already, but I've always been a fan of a challenge!)
My New Years Resolutions are just simple.
I want to laugh more often, not take everything so seriously, forgive more, and grow as a woman of God. I have messed us astronomically in 2010, and I'm sure I will mess up astronomically again in 2011, but that's what I want. I am not going to set lofty, unrealistic goals for myself such as not date someone, or lose 20 lbs, or travel to Indonesia. I will take this year as it comes, and live life to the fullest, and in 2011 I will try to laugh more, not take everything so seriously, forgive more, and grow with God.
... oh and run a half marathon :-)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
