Unknown

I like knowing the answers to questions before I ask them.
I like knowing that 1 + 5 = 6.
I like having plans, and seeing that plan work out.

But on the reverse, I like learning new things about a person.
I like when people and things surprise you.
I like that feeling when what you thought you knew about yourself was only a fraction.
I like when things look like they are going to fall apart, but then pull together in a way no one could have expected.
I like adventure, and I like being challenged. 
I like changing up my routine, but need the dicipline of a somewhat structured schedule.

Hi, I'm Jennifer, and I'm a walking oxymoron.

My roommate is getting married 2 months from Sunday.  That is soon.  That means that within about a month and a half, I need to find a place to live, and I need to move there.  I need to pack up my life and move to __________. 

I would really like to have that blank filled in.  There are so many questions right now.  House or apartment?  Nice place where I can LOVE where I live, or decent place where I can AFFORD to live?  Will I live on my own, or with others?  What will my commute to/from work look like?  Will Gracie come right away?  Or will I have to send her up to PA until I can find something more structured? 


I feel like I'm about to dive into the unknown.



I have started looking but it has caused me a lot of anxiety.  I know that I have backup plans, but is a backup plan without my dog really a backup plan?  I'm gonna throw up a hail mary pass right here.  I've seen this before where somehow things just happened to work out with my old roommate KJohns, and I trust that it will happen again - even though I don't know how the game is gonna be played. 

You know, it's scary - not knowing.  Especially when it is something big like where I will live!   But I have trusted God before when it looked scary, and I am really excited to trust him again!  Time to step to him, and walk on the water and take some bold steps!

Found a cute story when looking for a good image for right here: http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/01/31/how-to-walk-on-water/

However scary it is, I know I'm the person to embrace adventure.  So, I go to my users-guide of life, draw out the map of my adventure, and set off.  (Hint: I've included peices of my map right below here!)

Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. *Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Therefore, do not be anxious, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' (Or 'Where shall I live?' could fit nicely here)  For they seek after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.  Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  *Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)

It's nice to not have to worry about things.  To trust that his promises do not fall short.  And in the skydive of life, he's our parachute.  (Have I mentioned I'm going SKYDIVING?!?)

You don't have to tell me how cheesy I am, I already know it.

Life is so good.  And I do believe, it's getting better <3

Love the One you're with...

Or what is the point?

This valentine's day might have been the best Valentine's day of my life (so far).  Ok, at the risk of looking like a heartless woman, I broke up with a fine guy I have been seeing for a little while now on Sunday.  It was fine, amicable, and we still plan on being friends, but the point still remains that I did it the day before Valentine's day.  And people have called me out on it.  It seems that a few people have some very strong opinions about my actions, and to that I say - what's the point?

I honestly believe that the sheer shallowness of Valentine's day has reached a new high.

Valentine's day is not about getting flowers at work.
Having a boyfriend.
Going out to a nice dinner.

Seriously, what is the point of being with someone on Valentine's day if you can't celebrate your feelings for each other?

I asked my co-worker John what he and his wife did for Valentine's day.  He responded "Nothing.  I worked and then we went home and had dinner.  Same old same old."  That  sounded so sad to me!  So I told him "That sounds like the best way to spend valentine's day to me.  A dinner in, celebrating your love, but your life together too."  Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me, but it made him laugh and say, "You know, you are right.  And every day should be valentine's day."  I like John, he's an adorable old man.

But I say that all to say that after a decade of having Valentine's - sometimes even going out of my way to  secure one, I realized that maybe my ultimate Valentine's day is myself!  Since I don't have anyone I love this year, or see a future with, why pretend on the most romantic day of the year?  Yesterday I woke up early, swam with my friend E, worked, came home early, went on a 4.5 mile jog, and had a delicious dinner of brown rice, broccoli, and a sweet potato!  A fine dessert of a pudding cup, a glass of red wine, and the bachelor - in my pjs.

In small group we are going through the study of Esther "It's tough being a woman" by Beth Moore.  She said something in our study last week.  "I looked at this woman I just met, and I loved her.  And it was a love stronger than you can attribute to a stranger.  I knew I was loving this woman even a little bit of the way that God loves her."  It stopped me in my tracks.  Do I love others the way God loves them?  Do I love MYSELF the way God loves me?  My simple answer was no on both fronts, and that has both challenged and convicted me to raise the bar on what I feel is appropriate standards.

So happy Valentine's day!  I hope you kiss the one you love, pray a little extra for them, and remember that love is an amazing, powerful thing that looks past simple imperfections, and we are all blessed to be as loved as we are.  And if you don't have one that you love, I hope you are able to recognize that one loves you enough to sacrifice himself in the most graceful unjust way possible.  Love yourself, and love others.  The God of the Universe thought you were worth it, why try to prove him wrong?

blog via blackberry

So I find myself at Rockville Town Center on a Saturday night waiting for some of my senior high school friends from Younglife. It has been a beautiful day, and although September is almost over, between the sun and the heat you would think summer is still in full swing. As I wait here, in the center of the hub of the town, I have the extreme pleasure of listening to a local jazz/swing band. They have just finished a Miles Davis song, and as I look around, I am humbled.
I enjoy people watching... Always have. But as I sit here looking around I see people. And really see them. And even though they are strangers I wonder if this is the way God sees us, yet knows our heart. I see families, friends, and lovers. I see grandparents, parents, young adults, teenagers, kids, babies, and puppies. I see people whispering, dancing, laughing, riding bikes, jumping, walking, listening, and watching. I hear people laugh, and am reminded of two things. 1) There is love all around me right now, and regardless how terrible things in the world may get, this is what we are made for, and as long as we have the ability to love and laugh, we aren't doing so bad afterall. 2) God is here. Very fully here. Regardless of the beliefs of the people here, I know and trust that in every smile, every relationship, every person, God is present and showing abundantly.
This has been a great and beautiful day for me, and it is not over. I am so encouraged and blessed.

Also, I went to AC Moore and picked up a few crafty things.  One I saw and picked up for one of my younglife girls, and the other was the reason I went.  I know it doesn't look like much now, but it will be a beautiful, vintage looking key hook for the Falcon House.  Once the crackle paint dries, I will be writing the well-known second half of Joshua 24:15.

The Jeff Carpella Band wrapping up the set

People and kids playing around town

Charcoal Younglife love right there.  Made from half-burnt smore sticks.

Fun shirt I found at Target.   Almost bought it, but that would have left less money for...

My new crafts!  Yay, so excited to get back into the creative side!  Can't wait to show the finished product :-)