Memorial day...

So, maybe I am turning into my mother, but I found myself today driving back from a friend's home thinking about the true meaning of Memorial Day.  And I thought back about my life, but very specifically my weekend.

My ability to work (although too many hours) for a government contractor that faithfully serves it's country.

My ability to worship wherever, whenever, and in whatever way I choose to (and thankfully too, because God sometimes speaks to my heart at the most random times and places!)

My ability to enjoy smiles and laughter with friends in a country where individualism is encouraged and capitalism allows for those with new ideas to work hard to achieve them.

My ability to sleep late, wake up early, walk my dog without fear, and run with a baby in a stroller.

My ability to travel from state to state to see family... to see friends achieve celebrations in their lives.

My ability to watch fireworks and live in the joy of knowing that God has blessed my life with relationships and fellowships, and allowed me to both share in that joy, and witness the outcome.

My ability to call a friend, or send a facebook message and say "thank you for fighting for our freedom."

My ability to pray for the families of three specific friends who have lost their lives in the midst of battle protecting not only this country, but my personal freedom.

My ability to sit through a commencement ceremony and enjoy the blessings of this world, as well as dream about the blessings in the world of my children.

And my ability to recognize heroic action wherever it is due.  Especially with soldiers today, but with every teacher, doctor, firefighter, volunteer, mother, father, and anyone who loves people and dreams of a world which we can spread that freedom, security, and love.

I thank God most especially today, for seeing the world not as a society that thrives on starbucks coffee, cutting 2 minutes off of the highway commute by cutting someone off, meeting deadlines, and making corporate pitches ... but for a world in which we are able to love and worship a loving and powerful creator, his son he sacrificed for our salvation, our family and friends, and the simple joys and freedoms we encounter everyday - in whatever way we happen to find them.

Thank you soldiers, family, friends, domestic heros, and God for this world of freedom we live in, and for the world of peace we can dream about...

Being a fake grown up

This blog entry is a tribute to my moments of pure, joyful, child-like passion and laughter.

In the midst of a week in which I have already worked almost 60 hours and still plan on working tomorrow and Monday...

I have had the opportunity to just feel free and joyful in three very different ways in the past week.

Last Friday I went to VA for a concert with 2 other YL leaders.  It is no surprise that I love concerts and live music, and have maybe the most assorted taste in yet-to-become-famous musicians EVER... But it was still a blast, and in a way I did not expect.  To sum up the night: roadtrips going opposite traffic in Georgetown... kabobs the size of my head!! (they were delicious, but puhlease, could have been three meals for me)... one of the better concerts I have been to in a while (love when musicians actually sound better live than recorded!)... random target roadtrips, and a good movie.  Even though the concert was one of the best I have been to in a while, target was the real fun.  It has been too long since I found myself in the toystore of a target with other YL leaders.  Let me assure you... not a moment of boredom!  Pure hysterics.  And just unabashed joy. :-)

The other was Jess's wedding shower and my run on Saturday.  It is just sometimes so great to get together with your girlfriends and laugh and share in the joy of someone's life.  From the juicy jokes, and the need to make sure all the presents are stuffed back in the original box - no matter the cost (Thanks Stacey!), and just the joy in sharing in each other's lives, it is impossible not to be filled with inexpressible joy and love.  My run was great!  Also leading a bit into my management of old temptations I found myself going for a run in a new area, and just in wonder and curiosity ran to and through a park into a neighborhood and had no idea where I was.  It started to pour rain at a few parts, but it was the spontaneity of life that just really had me going about how great God is at all moments, not just when we are in prayer/devotion.

The final would probably be Dave and Buster's therapy with Emily.  Two young women too drained on a Friday afternoon to make it to the Jazz at the sculpture garden, we decided to meet at white flint mall for a quick coffee and then nap.  Well, don't you know coffee turned into margaritas, which included appetizers, which lead to in depth talks about men, our lives, and Jesus, which lead to us purchasing a game card and playing skee ball, basketball, deal or no deal, and having a light sabre fight with the giant mascot gloves in the ticket store (maybe you had to be there...).  A few guys hit on us, but the best on of the night was... are you ladies really drunk or just really having a good time?  Well duh.  You come find us after we won 300 tickets on Deal or No Deal, and the answer is - we are having the time of our lives. 

Unfortunately had to come back and plug the laptop in, but just that joyful break and the other shining moments of the last week have made me so aware that even in the midst of work and chaos, the gifts don't stop coming... :-)

unlucky number 11

Who woulda thought...?

After 10 times of getting pulled over, I finally got a ticket on number 11.

Is my luck running out?
Am I loosing my ability to be a good flirt?
(That opens up questions of why I am single right now...?)
Is it just Virginia state cops that suck?

This is stupid and silly. And I am moving next weekend. And gas prices are rising. I do not want to pay a speeding ticket.

LAME.

In the midst of stress and joyful freedom!

Ok, so the two sound like complete opposites and things that should never exist together, right? Well, wrong.

This week at work will be one of the most stressful weeks I have had. And probably into next week as well. We just recieved directive to hire 50 new people and have them in the pipeline by the end of next week. And in holding true to the nature of big companies, we have to sit through like 985,371 meetings before we can get moving with the process. So now it is a waiting game for me to see where these people should be sitting, and what they should be doing. That being said, I think my Memorial Day weekend is going to be a wash. My boss is already talking about me coming in to work this weekend to "get ir done" for the team. Fortunately it is going to rain on Saturday, so I am not too terribly affected by that plan as long as I can get to Nadine and Jackie on Sunday.

I have had trouble in the past keeping my work life seperate from my personal, and visa versa. I have noticed that at times I care less about my work because of my personal life, and can be more stressed out at home because of work stresses. However, there are such conflicting emotions right now, it is making this very easy!

Currently I am in a mode of jubalint celebration. I say that because of something coming up very soon. This time of year always gets really hard for me, as old temptations come creeping up out of the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it gets really overwhelming and I consider caving in. Usually I forget about the pending date until I get those pangs of temptation, and then struggle my way through it. However, this year I am jubalint. Granted I have had some bouts of intense temptation recently, but have gotten through with prayer and strength from God. Looking back at Jen at 18, I never thought I would see this day. I never thought I would be able to stand so strong and so proud, and have come so far from where I once was. Three years just seemed like the longest time, and the most uphill battle. (Speaking of uphill battle, I also ran 3 miles the other day!!) But all of this has come down to one simple fact about my life. It is not my strength and my decisions and my plan that carries me through, but God's. And to think that for the past three years he has given me this beautiful gift of freedom, is just SO BEAUTIFUL and I am so thankful for that gift.

So let me work hard, get stressed, use that stress to push myself harder... and still rest in the peaceful freedom that I have gained by full faith and reliance on my Savior, Redeemer, Deliverer, and Healer. And to celebrate this freedom, I am going hiking!

Happy Wednesday!

Finally getting settled...

Wow... what a crazy week it has been!! Last night I finally got to rest for a little bit, and ended up playing on sporcle.com with the girls from the Ashley house for hours!

To recap the ongoings in my life recently, the last week has been spent moving out of our apartment!! Time at 9902 has come to an end, and thus finds me lingering around the Ashley house for a few weeks before again trudging all my stuff up to KF. (Cute nickname for our apt still pending...)

We did not have club last week, which was a little disheartening, especially after a week with low showup and I really wanted to get with the kids and go to games and such, but it just did not happen with the move and everything! So we have another club planned tomorrow and I am just praying that God just uses this club this week as an opprotunity to get back in rythym (both for the kids and the leaders) and that we can all have a blast! I have had to remind myself a few times this week that as hard as I try to be a good younglife leader, my efforts are just that, and I really need to rely on Him to work out the plans he has fit for our kids.

Also, I took my first vacation day! It was GLORIOUS! I left for PA on Thursday after moving the sofa, dinner at chipotle with some way cool YL Leaders, and of course the office (did I mention season finale is this week?!? eekk!) I brought Gracie up to my parent's house and designated Friday as our new mother's day since I would not be around for Sunday. I was able to have lunch with an old friend, and walk through Valley Forge Park with him, catching up on the good old days. And then my mom and I drove to pick up Beth from college. After packing her entire dorm room, we headed back and then just us girls went to a movie and Bahama Breeze to celebrate the mom that we love so much. It really was a great night!

After that, I met up with Jackie and Car and we went out to the bars. I made them go to Stables bar which I have passed countless times in my 22 years in Phoenixville. We were a bit sketched out walking in there, not knowing what to expect, but it was not as creeper as we thought it would be!! (Until some guy brought his headshot and a cd over to us and offered to give Car a free personal concert... We peaced right after that!) But then we headed to some more popular, younger geared bars downtown. It is so weird how much has changed since high school, and also how much hasn't. I am still trying to make sense of that I would need a whole other blog to discuss that, but it was a very weird experience, one that brought me both joy and disappointment.

Saturday was the graduation of one Merri-haris Yeager (Maris). We riled up the complete breakfast along with the Yeager clan and Liz to celebrate the graduation of Maris from Eastern University. After a very wonderful family lunch at Palermo's I said goodbye to my pup and trekked back down to DC. Drove the whole way with the sunroof down, the windows open, the Best of Tom Petty, and some worship music thrown in the mix too. It was a wonderful trip back. Got back on Saturday to organize a few things, throw some stuff in my storage unit, and watch the office with my mac and cheese and a glass of wine.

Sunday was moving day for me, and the whole day was spent packing and moving. I did the whole thing by myself, and was having a pretty rough day because of that. I didn't realize how lonely moving can make you feel, especially when you are doing it on your own. So, I was in a pretty foul mood the whole day, and did not want to keep driving back and forth from goodwill, the storage unit, and then eventually the Ashley house. We lost our soccer game AGAIN, and I definitely snipped at two or three people, being in the crabby mood I was in. I do have to say that I did have some joyful experiences on Sunday. Blaise helped me fit my mattress into my car after the soccer game so I could take it to the Ashley house and have a place to sleep. Unfortunately, Blaise lost his wallet and soccer kleats/had them stolen and so I did end up driving all around Rockville to try to help him find it. It is still missing, and I just have been praying so hard for the poor kid, it is hard to rebuild when you loose all your identity. (He had ids, credit cards, military id, all sorts of stuff in there that is tough to rebuilt after.)

But the most random thing was Sunday when I moved into the Ashley house. Lita was not there at the time, but her housemate April was. She looked a bit familiar when she answered the door, but not so much that I thought I had met her before. Anyway, she offers to help me move some of my stuff, and was so kind and helpful. We start talking about where we are from, and turns out we are both from PA! Ok, so that is not that amazing PA is pretty big and really close the MD/DC area. Then we find out we are both from the Philly area. Still cool, but not a big deal. Then we find out we are from the same hometown, AND WE GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER!!! It was pretty unbelievable that we had that connection, I never would have imagined!

But anyway, fast forward to today, and things are just starting to calm down. I miss my dog a whole lot and am trying to fight the urge to be one of those people that calls 'just to check on her,' but hey, what can I say she is like my kid! Sorry this wasn't a fun post and that it didn't have any pictures, I just thought it might be nice to give an update since it has been a while, and there has been a LOT going on. Crazy!

Geese freak me out

Ok so growing up, one thing I remember is going to my grandmother's house and playing outside. She had this HUGE hill behind her house and you could always find wild deer and other animals, trees to climb, parts of the hill to roll down so fast you almost throw up, and at the very bottom was a pond. In all the years that I spent going and playing at that house, I always remember hearing, "stay away from the geese down at the pond, they are dangerous." For a long time I thought they were kidding until my dad told me how geese attack. I must have been about 7 years old and he said they run at you, and bite you, and essentially punch you with their beaks. That freaks me out. Honestly, they have always freaked me out. There is something about getting punched with a goose-beak in the eyes that really gives a person the creeps.

Anyway, for that reason I have always avoided geese at all costs. Now that the weather is nice however, it is becoming more difficult. My office has a nice little pond and fountain outside the front with Geese who come to hang out at it, so I have started walking in the back. However, two of these geese have found a nice spot to stand guard to the building in the back as well! So I have started carrying my umbrella into work every day... even when it is not going to rain. Maybe this is a bit unrational, but a major part of me never wants to be attacked by those geese. I don't think that would be a fun day.

But now everytime I walk into work, I almost feel like I approach the sidewalk, I make eye contact with the big goose, and say, 'today buddy, you will not attack me." But as I slink by him with my umbrella ready to go at any point in time, I always wonder... will you...?

Anyway that is my seriously goofy post about my irrational fear of geese. Hopefully, you never see on the news that a poor helpless woman with just an umbrella was attacked by a goose. If so, you can probably deduct that I am that helpless woman.