It's funny. As a single 23 year old, I get dating advice from every married couple whether I want it or not. I get Christian dating advice, I get DON'T GET MARRIED advice, and I get "eh, you're young, go have fun" advice. It's so funny sometimes to get have different people that you love in different ways give you unwanted advice. Unfortunately, it can also complicate and confuse the already complicated and confused.
The advice of -never get married just mess around with someone until you are bored- was very poorly recieved by me, and actually saddened my heart a bit that someone I love so much would clearly be upset with their current situation. Needless to say, that advice has gone to the wayside... and quickly.
But I have been struggling lately with the idea that casual dating may not be for me. I have been dating, and I have been having fun. Most people in my life tell me, just date around and see where things go. But some of the more committed christians in my life have encouraged me to be more thoughtful about people before dating. As I said, I have been dating. It's been fun, and honestly a big part of me wants to keep going out with boys, and flirting, but something is missing when I do that. And it hit me the other day. My best friend Cuppa (nicknames are appropriate on a public blog) made me realize that if I do date random funny, cute, charming guys I may have fun for a bit. But when it comes time for me to get to know the heart of the person I am dating, how can I share my faith, if they don't already have their own faith? And 'just going to church' should not cut it. When I am struggling, overjoyed, concerned, etc... will I ever feel completely open and intimate with that person and comfortable sharing it with them? And if I can't, aren't I just leading to more heartbreak when I realize that I need to leave someone that I have spent so much time getting to know, or continue in a relationship where I won't ever feel free enough to share my whole heart.
I did break up with a dude one time because he wasn't at that same point in his faith as I was, but I don't think I ever really understood the point of it in the long run. I have recently come to understand this, and how important that is to me. Regardless of what some of the people in my life may tell me, I know what I want, and why would I ever want to sell myself... my heart... short? I wouldn't, and when I meet someone that loves me that much, he's gonna be happy that I didn't sell myself short too.
So... I am comfortably single, NOT DATING, and waiting for the (gulp... here comes the scary christian word) courting.
And that makes my heart smile. :-)
oh yea, and also... I love my cuppa <3
1 comment:
haha. ya "courting" is the christian term, but call it whatever you want. the Lord knows your hearts intent and if your intention is marriage, God knows that you know that. title matters not. :) plus at this age, if you find the right guy, it's assumed that's the ultimate goal! look out world, Jenn is ready to wow one lucky man of God!
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