Honesty, boldness, and total value...

Honestly...
This summer has been tough. It has been really busy for me, and I have felt really challenged by a few things, and have struggled with a few others. Younglife. I was in a black hole guys. I really truly thought that I was not connecting to these kids. I was convinced that God had made a mistake in placing me in this school. I knew that there were people that the kids would warm up to more, and I hope I didn't (although I bet I did a little bit) let that show through to the kids. I asked friends for prayer, and sure enough, I got my answer through one victory here, and one victory there, and getting to know kids, and see God amaze me when I really stepped back to take a look at him.
Honestly...
I was struggling with where I have been at with guys. It was starting to bother me that I wasn't being "snatched up" right away like I might have been a few years before. I started to question my more recent view on guys, and friends, and found myself trying to make room for the same exceptions that were viable as a baby in my faith that aren't now. I have always been impatient, and have started to see that in my inability to rest in the fact that God has a given plan for me, and He will deliver, but He will give it to me when He knows is fitting.
Honestly...
I have been trying to hard to find a church. I really really thought I had one. But then I went home and played the comparison game, and realized that the things I was missing at my MD church were not sacrifices that I was willing to make for a church. I prayed that I would find a church that was steeped in the values that the other church was built on, but had a stronger outward community as well as stronger values for service outside of the church. I went back to my original list of churches, and made my way all the way to the second to last church on my list. Honestly... I think I am stuck here - in a good way. I have determined to check out the last church on my list before I make a committment, but at this point, I love the church I have been lead to, and feel ready to make a commitment to being an active, engaged, and committed member of that body of believers.

Boldly...
I will march on. At work. At home. At the high schools. At my church. I don't want to be a neutral person. I want to be a bold and passionate person who isn't afraid to dive into the mess.
Boldly...
I will continue to do my best at work, and share the best news in my life with my family in hopes that they will be able to embrace them too. I will share my thoughts, my love, my faith, and my support to each of them in every situation - ceasinglessly.
Boldly....
Is the way that I have found to pray. Recently, I decided to re-engage myself in the Old Testament. I have found that it is the most beautiful, most basic love story of my entire life, and I have also found that I can be so quick to forget how passionate, bold, and personal that part of the story can be. Boldy, Abraham prayed to God by HAGGLING! That is bold to me! I don't do that nearly as often. But oh, I will.

Totally Valued...
Is the way I feel now. Last Thursday I was biking home from work and got hit by a car. There is no WAY, no REASON, no LOGICAL explanation for the fact that after the car hit me, I got up and walked to the side of the road. I began to question how it was possible that the steel of my bike would bend around my leg, and I wouldn't have gotten it caught, OR EVEN SCRAPED. I have had minor injuries considering I got hit by a moving Trailblazer. There is no reason I should have been able to go to work on Friday morning. There is no reason I should have been able to still attend the Leaders Weekend at Rockbridge. No practical reason of course...
But there is a deeper reason. So often I get lost in the prayer that Younglife leaders pray "Lord, let it be you to speak through me, not my own words, but you." And I believe that is how it should be, and I believe that we are not there to be the Younglife Leaders, but to be the images of Christ in the schools. But really, I am a valued child of God, and not because I am a Younglife leader, and not because of my job, or my family, or my friends, or ANY OTHER REASON. I am alive because I was meant to be here. I was at Rockbridge because I was meant for that. And I really truly believe that, and I believe that I can help at least 75 kids this year see that they were meant for something. Something big. Something crazy. Something beautiful. Something that is above law or reason. Something that deserves a miracle.