I am yours... beautiful and loved

Lord. here I am.  

I am small and broken, and I am humbled by your grace.  

Lord, I fall into your open arms, knowing you are there to catch me.  

When I get so caught up in what I want, I chase after it, even when I know I am running downhill.  When I get too much momentum, I tumble down the hill, and there you are... a loving Father who will wrap me up in his arms, and convince me that whatever scrapes I have are temporary, and it is all ok.  Right there... in your arms.  

Lord, take my heart, fill it with your love, and help me remember that you are the one I want to be with.  It is you that I want to love and care for me, and it is you that can love me more perfectly than any human can.  Thank you for loving me the way you do, and reminding me to try to love myself the way you love me.  Rejection and doubt will fade away, but only as I let you push them away.  Father God, protect me, and encourage me to seek after you.  Your plan and your time is more perfect than I could ever want, and I want to delight in you, and you alone.

I trust you with my heart and with my life.

Thank you for calling me your own.

New Tattoo!

Ok, so for those of you who don't know, I have a tattoo on my hip.  Jules and I went to get it right after I turned 18 and got back from Younglife camp when I was younger, so it was more of an inpulsive move than anything else. 
This one I have been thinking about and praying about for quite a while.  I love it.  I love the image, the location, the symbolism, and I can't wait to get it done.  I will be headed to Bethesda Tattoo this Friday for my consultation, and next week I have a date with Lea to get it done!  Her work looks amazing and when I went in I knew I wanted either her or James, and since James isn't accepting new customers, it was an easy choice. Lea seems to be pretty comfortable with rib tattoos, and I have seen some of the ones she's done so far, and they look great, so I am on board.

So I am getting a phoenix.  Check out my two inspirations here:

  

I want to do something more like the gray-scale image with the color and vibrance of the yellow-orange-red one.  And the reason I chose a Phoenix is for a few reasons.  First of all, I am from Phoenixville, and this tattoo is to pay some tribute to where I came from.  We can all acknowledge in life that we may not be defined by where we came from, but we do hold on to that througout our lives.  The Phoenix is a bird that burns itself into ashes, and then arises up out of the ashes to a new reborn life.  I love that imagery of recreating yourself into a new creature of power and majesty.  Also, I have been thinking lately about incorporating some people in my life into the tattoo.  I want to somehow dedicate part of this tattoo to the memory of Karin and Catherine, because I have often wondered why or how God works, and allows certain people to live and others to die before they even had a chance.  I was thinking about maybe getting a C and a K on the heart of the Phoenix, but I haven't thought that through completely yet, and would appreciate any advice from creative minds. 

Anyway, just wanted to share that because I am very excited, and want to encourage you to watch out for facebook next week to see a picture upload of the tattoo. 

As promised... some pictures!!

<3 Our Week at Lake Champion <3

Ok, here are my big old pictures from my CRAZY CRAZY SUMMER!! Enjoy!

Vegas Skyline!

Having a beer in the highest bar in Vegas!  Mah Seester and me before meeting Andrew, of Easton, PA

Younglife Camp... Bombs Away!!

Champions!!

Just hanging out...

Matching Tats

I mean... clearly

Beautiful DR3 girls!! <3 Lake Champion 2010

The girls and Arnold... not gonna spell his last name... the muscly terminator who governs Cali.  You know him.

Tough Girls!  I mean obvs...

Just enjoying some of the Grand Canyon

The pictures don't even compare

The ground is so far away!

Me, mah seester, pops & wife in AZ!

The Bellagio Conservatory

Light show anyone?

After dancing...

Booty shot on the strip!

Striking resemblance

I mean, free snow cone day is like the best day ever!  Especially in the hot Vegas desert!

The Hoover Dam!  Dam, that's big!

The Dam side of Lake Mead

What a birthday treat looks like from a Top Chef!

Fulfilling our Destiny!

Welcome to Vegas!!  (4am photoshoot after playing poker in the Bellagio all night!)

Hope you enjoyed the pictures.  This is what I've been up to all summer!

Romping all over the Country!

Ok.. So I have been way way way busy and not blogging well! 
At the end of June I went to Vegas with a bunch of my friends from small group and the Ashley house.  It was great!  Our hotel was a bit off the strip, which was nice because we didn't need to be part of all the business.  The weather was GREAT.  DRY. HOT.  BEAUTIFUL.  SUNNY.  Yes, I could live there if it was a bit more laid back.  We played poker with our dealer Cass at the Bellagio until 4am.  (He was a Yankees fan - yuck!)   We went to the Grand Canyon, took on some Native Americans that were trying to take us for a ride with our money.  We saw the Hoover Dam and drove through the desert.  We took advantage of drink specials, went shopping, and hung out by the pool every day.  It was awesome.
Mah seester came out for my birthday, and we toured the strip, got some ice cream, some pictures, saw the fountain show at the Bellagio, and ended up at Planet Hollywood where Alex from Norway helped buy me drinks to ring in 24. 
Mah Seester and I headed to Arizona the next morning.  It was great to see our grandfather again, it had been such a long time!  We went to Jerome, this small artsy village in a mountainside of Prescott National Forest.  We went to Prescott, Sedona (saw the Red Rocks), and the Grand Canyon (from the other side).  Mah Seester and I then headed back to Vegas and flew back home the next day.  During the trip I had heat exhaustion, a good tan, and read all four Donald Miller books.

Last weekend I got to see mama and papa robs to be in VA Beach when I went down for the wedding for Jessica and Steve.  What a beautiful couple, I mean really.  It was a blessing to be there for their wedding, and so great to see my cousins again and especially celebrate the baby to be!

Tomorrow I head out to Younglife's Lake Champion camp in New York State.  I am very excited, and not only do I love the girls that are going, but it was the same place I went as a camper in high school (where I dedicated my life to Christ), and where I did summerstaff the first time I chose to volunteer.  Anyway, the next post will be entirely pictures and captions... capturing the adventures I've had over the last month.

Ignoring the white pants for Vegas and my diet

Sometimes a woman just needs to give in.  I mean afterall, some decadent things are good for us right?  Let me introduce my illicit love affairs this week.  Yes, you read correctly.  affairS.  As in more than one.

Let me introduce to you Joe.  Joe makes me happy, gives me what I want, when I want it, and makes me feel very good about myself.  Plus, he comes at at good price....

Let me introduce Mr Sun.  Mr Sun makes me feel warm all over.  He coats my body while I lie there, and brings color to my face.  It's a long cold winter without him, but how I enjoy these summer moments.

Let me introduce Frank.  Frank sings to my soul, makes me croon, and makes me feel like a woman.  He speaks to me the way any woman would want to be spoken (or sang) to.  He makes me feel classy.

Let me introduce you to Vino.  Just like Mr. Sun too much Vino will really get to me, but when Vino and I first meet after a long seperation, the reunion is smooth, tasty, bold, and everything you hope it could be.

Let me introduce you to Cocoa.  Ohhhhh Cocoa.  How would I like Cocoa to satisfy me today?  Maybe some toffee?  Maybe a little dark?  Maybe Swiss today?  Belguim?  Fine Italian?  Maybe some PA roots (like myself) with a nice Hershey Milk Component?  Who cares!  (Enjoy the nice email from my co-worker)

VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT CHOCOLATE!!!

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans are vegetables; therefore, chocolate is a vegetable.

Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, it is further verified that chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, it’s a balanced diet. (Don't they actually counteract each other?)

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts."

It's ok if you are jealous of my love affairs.  You can find your own and be just as scandalous as this good christian girl. ;-P

Life is so good.  And I do believe it's getting better. <3

What is a grown up anyway?

I have often wondered about how you get to that point where you feel like a grown up.  Do you need to feel like a grown up before you are considered a grown up?  Does the fact that I still say 'grown up' negate the fact that I may possibly be one?  (Just for the record, when I think about grown ups, I still think of Charlie Brown's teacher only saying "Wha wha whomp wha...")

One thought is that I feel like a grown up when I realize that money is there to be budgeted.  When you actually want to be responsible, pay off all your bills, budget accordingly, not just so you have fun money, but so you have future money too. 

Gulp... I'm there.

Another thought was when I don't immediately want to give back someone's baby or when I could see myself living in and fixing up a house and being happy with it, or when I see someone who is married or in a serious relationship and I think (if ever so briefly) "That doesn't look so scary.  I think I could do that." 

Gulp... I'm there.

Another thought is when you realize that more of your friends are older, married couples, and long gone are the single college and young professional friends that you used to be surrounded with. 

Gulp... I'm there.

Another thought is when you take a vacation.  Not because it's spring break, or someone's wedding, or a family obligation, but because you can and you want to.  You can tell work - Sayonara - and just go for an adventure just because you can. 

Gulp... I'm there.

Another thought is when you tell a teenager, because I said so.  Worst answer to a question ever, but when you find yourself saying that to a Younglife kid, it is a pretty sobering adult that is looking in the mirror back at you. 

Gulp... I'm there.

But I think the final and most accurate test is when you read a Dilbert Cartoon and you realize that that is your sad boring pathetic, grown up employee life.  When Dilbert and your Office 'Quote of the Day' calender, not only make you smile, but remind you of your daily life... this may be when you have officially reached grown up status. 

Gulp... I am definitely there!

For what it's worth, I still wear flip flops every chance I get, I still love the way my hair looks in twin braids, I still love rockin out to Taylor Swift, and drinking lemonade, singing in public, dancing with reckless abandon, making every hug and smile count, driving with my big sunglasses on with the music up and voice blaring, and drawing hearts in the dirt.  
Will I ever really be a grown up?  Probably not.  But I kinda like this pseudo-stage I'm in right now.  And plus... who ever said that 24 year olds can't play make believe?

Life is so good.  And I do believe, it's getting better... <3

new friends, old friends and everything in between

You know when you have a good weekend?  Just a great time with great smiles and great conversation?  Well I did.  It was great.
Friday I started the weekend at the car dealership where I was told that my tags were expired and I would be driving illegally.  Of course this was my concern on May 30, but the same mechanic told me that if I had proof of working on repairs (aka reciepts) than I should be fine in case I get pulled over.  Well apparently that was a lie, and I am not too excited about it, so my car is parked until I go to the MVA bright and early tomorrow morning.
But MH and her boyfriend came down from Philly for the weekend, and we hopped into Georgetown for the night where we met up with Joe, Dollar, and their girlfriends.  It was great to see Joe, who I haven't seen since college.  But a night with great friends, old jokes, memories, and just being around those familiar people that walked through four years of college with you is so nice, so like being at home again.  They put a sign on the newly renovated student union at Scranton "It's not where I breathe, but where I love, that I live."  I think that's beautiful, and you know what?  When I am with my old college friends, I love.  We went to a bar in DC, I met a nice guy named David, and we had a great night.  It was kinda a bummer that MH and her guy had to leave on Saturday but I still loved hanging out with them for the night.
Saturday night I went to Arlington for a house party for S's boyfriend's new house.  His friends are way different than the friends that I have, but were way interesting, and so much fun.  Yea it was a bit weird to one of 2 girls there for half the night, but I hung out with some of the most interesting, most down to earth people.  People who loved partying, people who don't believe in God, people who love life, and a person that loves Jesus.  We talked about jobs, travel, God, schools, work, and joked and laughed all night.  I hung out with a new African friend, learned some Hebrew from a Jewish guy who teaches kids and prepares them for bar mitzvahs (and obviously spoke to him about my own calling for high school kids to share the gospel), talked with a guy from rural Tennessee about being good stewards of the earth and of other people, different cultures, his testimony, dreams and passion for the future and for other people, and finally about traveling the world, serving others, and learning along the way.
Today I went to Eastern Market with Steph, walked all through DC, and just caught up.  I have to say that I love the relationships that I made with the people I have met at Younglife Camps.  Steph was my intern when I did summer staff at Lake Champion in 2006, and since she now lives in Arlington, we try to get together when we can.  Eastern Market is this great outdoor market in DC, and despite the sweltering heat, we had a blast checking out pearl jewlery, local and international photographs and artwork peices, local designs, large hats that would put the Kentucky Derby to shame, and sunglasses that cover the most varied shapes, sizes, and colors.  We had a delicious locally made lunch, and watched a newlywed couple dance around the ballroom and get their beautiful new wedding pictures.  And we did what Steph and I do best.  Talk about faith, friends, relationships, and the unfortunate disaster of having thick curly hair in the hot humid summers.   One thing I love about Steph, and about my other YL friends from camps, is that no matter how long it has been since we have last seen each other, we can dive right in to the deep stuff, encourage each other, and share what we know and have learned about following Jesus and derrived from the bible.  I love friendships like this that we just build each other up and encourage each other to draw closer to our great God. 
This weekend could not have been better.  I have seen more love this weekend than I remember experiencing in a long time.  And even though I spent most of my weekend drinking with people that don't know the Lord, I feel so encouraged, enlivened, and closer in my relationship with God than I did before experiencing this great weekend.

"And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the spirit, because the spirit intercedes with the saints in accordance with God's will.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:27-28

Life is so good.  And I do believe it's gettin better <3

Update on my bucket list!!

It's always good to cross things off a to-do list.  When it is chores/errands, it feels good.  When it is a list of things that bring joy to you... it feels great!  I revisited my list today, and I am making some sort of progress!!  Booyah!

1- Ride an elephant in the Jungle (Indonesia)

Alison is going in Indonesia for a year.  I am going to visit her, and I am going to make her go on an elephant ride with me.

2- Skydiving

This is something I might do in a few weeks when I go to Phoenix/Vegas, depending on my financial situation and my chiropractor's advice.

3- Missions trip in a foreign country

4- Hike to the peak of a mountain

Done!  And thank you very much Steven and Rag Top Mountain.  (I hope it's not the last one...)

5- Take a sailing trip

6- Go on a cross country road trip

7- Learn to drive stick shift

This has already kinda been done, but I am not good at it.  Not checking this off for now.

8- Kentucky Derby with a big hat

9- Ice skate at Rockefeller at Christmas

10- Ride on the back of a motorcycle

11- Give everything I have to someone (can be everything I can give, everything I have at that moment… I’ll know when it happens)

12- White Water raft on the CO River

13- Run a ½ marathon OR do a sprint triathlon

Septemeber 2010 maybe?!?

14- Worship with a different culture

15- Dance freely in front of at least 10 people

Done!  Thank you Ami & Angela and the drunk girl at the Enter the Haggis concert!  Also.. Cherry Blossom Festival 2010

16- Take a helicopter ride

17- Go rock climbing

18- See the Northen Lights

19- Visit and explore Rio de Janerio

20- See Victoria Falls

21- Visit all 50 states

22- Ride the biggest roller coaster in the US

23- Make my own wine

24- Read all 100 books (I have a list of 100 books to read)

25- Not be in control

26- Spend a weekend, just me and God

27- Do God’s will, not my own

28- Help build a habitat for humanity home

29- Spend Christmas at a shelter

30- Make a difference in someone’s life

31- Write and publish a book

32- Watch the 50 Greatest American Movies of all time

33- Be a loving mother and wife

34- Go on a safari

35- Spend mornings with my husband and coffee on the porch

36- Attend a professional tennis tournament

37- Act ridiculous

38- Live in the now

39- Start a collection of willow angels

40- Watch the mummers parade – live

41- Send my parents to a YL camp as adult guests

Guess who is NorthBay Bound in just a few weeks!! Momma and Papa Potts!

42- Drop everything to help someone

43- Have a life changing conversation with someone about faith

44- Go back to school

45- Stand out of the sunroof of a moving car

46- Grow a garden

47- Sleep under the stars

Weather pending... camping trip in a week and a half with Steph, Steven, and Yuco!

48- Build or fix something

I have a summer project planned...

49- Explore the beaches and ocean of Australia

50- Surf in the Pacific

Life is so good. 

And I do believe, it's getting better...

what you live is what you love is who you are...

So... yea I am a terrible blogger, but been really slammed at work and getting ready to move! I am excited to move in with another christian girl, but so much has been going on!

I got to visit my cuppa out in Chicago. Oh it was so great and beautiful, except even in April Chicago is freezing! Yea, I could never live there. But it is such a beautiful city, I can't even get over it. Makes me want to see Houston, because people say that Houston is like Chicago, only warmer. I say "mhmmm..."

My lil messers got married! Such a beautiful wedding, and so much fun! There is something so great about traveling to a place you would never go to on your own (like Mobile, AL) with a bunch of your girlfriends. You know it's gonna be a blast when you get 8 of your good friends to fly halfway across the country to experience a beautiful southern wedding.

I survived the cherry blossom 10 miler! Barely, but I did survive. And big thanks to my cousins and my friends that ran alongside with me. Having Vic run the last two miles with me make me thrilled, and was just the encouragement I needed. It was also really great because we were able to cheer on people who passed us, and encourage people who we were running in stride with/passing. It is amazing just how giving someone a little pep and encouragement at mile 9.5 can really make the last half mile worthwhile.

All in all, I have to say - life is going pretty well right now. I have a faith in a great Savior, I have a beautiful mother who drove three hours to see me on mother's day (<3), an amazing brother, sister, and dad, and the best friends a girl could ask for.

I promise that the next blog will have pictures, thanks for reading!

What can hold ME down?

You will find a lot of quotes from the bible in my blog, but this is one that I found on my friend's facebook status today, and really liked.

Setbacks, we face them every day. Some cause us to stumble, others bring us to our knees. And along with pain and heartache, each setback brings the opportunity to rise up. To be stronger and better and braver than before.

At the end of January I got in a car accident. Totalled my car completely, and went almost 2 months with pain in my back and neck, which subsequently lead to pain in my arms and head too. I had to take two months off of training for the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, which I had registered for back in November. When I did the 10K in December, I figured that a 10 Miler would be a challenge, but a good goal to train for. I made that decision before the car accident.

Over the last few weeks I have struggled with the challenge of this race. Do I run? Do I switch from the 10 miler to the 5K? Maybe it is all about my pride, but I figured that if I was gonna push myself it was gonna be to do a 10 miler, not a 5K. Well, I am still signed up for the 10 miler, and you know what? 4 miles is tough for me to run right now I have not been training for long enough again, and have not had the time to build up my running, so I have been pushing myself in distance to try to account for what I have lost in constancy.

But here goes. It is now Wednesday night, and the 10 miler is on Sunday. My only goal is to not get picked up by the bus at the end of the race, I want to finish it. My original goal was just to run it, but I now know that may not be possible. I have been praying a lot on it, and really just believing that I can not look like a fool with this whole race. I just hope I can do it and I am trying not to doubt.

But it does really give me more motivation. It's funny how adversity can help with that. It really helps you see that if you can climb this rock and that hill, that you really can do anything when you put your mind to it. It may be tough, and you may not always see it working out, but it does. That's why I love the quote up top there. The car accident along with the additional things going on in my life recently have taken me to all those points. I stumbled. I found myself on my knees with nothing left to offer. And for every reason I've had to give up, I had just that many more to push myself over it. To become stronger, and better, and braver than ever before.

Wish me luck! I'll post updates to the run next week!