My 2010 so far with pictures and stories!

We had a blizzard! In case you can't tell, that is a car buried all the way under there. This picture was taken about a week ago (6 days to be exact) and yet, they still have not shoveled the thing out! I mean you can tell that it is a car now, because some of the snow has melted, but ... crazy!! People around here freak out with snow, the roads aren't great, and they think it is an apocolypse, and they close school for a week. Yes. A week. We got three feet of snow and they got a whole week! And I know I am a grown up, so I shouldn't care, but you know who else got a week of snow days? Teachers. I definitely chose the wrong career field...



Sorry, I am quite aware this pictures are in terrible order, but Happy New Years! I went out in Bethesda with a few friends to ring in 2010, and it was great! I think we should celebrate New Years every month if it gives me an excuse to glam myself up! My friends Laura and Arash up there. I guess Lauren was taking the picture and Sarah and Jason never made it out... apparently they just threw food all over the kitchen to ring in the new years. (not kidding, it looked like they got robbed when we got back)


Ahh... yes. Please note that this is not normally how I dress. That man left of me in the picture is J. His wife is in my small group, and every year they have this rockstar party. We just dress up like rockstars and play rockband, because we are super cool like that. It was a really great party, and we rocked out with too much eyeliner, men in women's jeans, fancy boas, fake eyelashes, and an assortment of fake tattoos. It was a great night, and just like every time S or I plan a get together it was snowing.
Unfortunately the night didn't end as well. I ended up hitting someone on the way home when he blew a red light and slammed on the brakes. So currently my car is gone (RIP B Dawk...) and I am recovering from some minor injuries. Accident happened about a month ago, and things are just now getting wrapped up. But I am getting another car this weekend, and finally heading up to PA to see my family, so tht should be great. (God-willing I get there!) I still have to say that the night was still a blast (up to the accident) and honestly, can you believe I had to stand on the side of the highway wearing that and looking like that on a Saturday night?!? I am surprised that I didn't at least get breathalyzed, although I did get some honks from supporting passersby...


Ok so this band is called Enter the Haggis. I love them. Found them in college, and just think they rock. Real high-energy stuff and have the quintessential quality that makes me like bands. Being underrated, and having a sweet sound and good lyrics. Well, some of you might remember the post I made about the 50 adventures I want to have. Well it is 49 now. I went to the concert with Ang and Ami, and they weren't able to get my camera out and set it up to catch this, but you can ask... it happened. I got to live #15. I tried to find some security guy in between the Haggis's sets, but instead I found a drunk friend of the band's manager. She grabbed me, took me backstage, and pleaded my case for wanting to dance onstage in front of 10 people. Well, after loosing a contest, I had to do it myself, so he led me up to the stage, and I did it. I can't remember what song they were playing at the time, but I just ROCKED OUT. I just danced my heart out. It was great. only 49 more to go...


Meet my baby cousin, C. He lives near me down here in the DC area, but I don't see him often enough. I am excited to take him out this spring and summer and get him away from his TV obsession with Baby Einstein, and start him early on loving this great city he gets to grow up right outside of. What to do with a three year old? I have no idea, suggestions welcome, but I just generally enjoy spending time with kids like that, they are so refreshing to be around. And it's fun to blow bubbles, and run like a kid, and play hide and seek in ridiculous places that a grown up will never fit in. But I have to say, I am pretty blessed to live somewhere near family, and can't wait to see the new house! Congrats fam!


I'm doing it. I'm going dark. Actually the idea is to slowly migrate to a bright chesnut red, circa Lindsay Lohan, pre-crack days. Like this picture. Plus it makes sense to look like my birthday twin. It is still weird to me to see her on tabloids and think that she is one day younger than me. Weirddddd. But stay tuned for more pictures as the red slowly takes over!

Me and mah madre! She came down to visit me in DC and we went to the Hirshorn Museum. It wasn't one of my favorite museums in the area (I have to say some of these Smithsonians really spoil me). But it was fun. It is always interesting to look at modern art and think about how really I miss the art and beauty in simple stuff too often. But about halfway through our meandering, we decided to take a cute reflection picture off this reflecting glass box. Well, it just looks like I'm trying to be emo. Bonus points for the To Write Love on Her Arms shirt, but I guess I loose all emo points for having my mom in the picture?? Whatever, I love her, I don't care.

Anyway, that is my life in pictures and stories lately! Happy hump day, the week is almost over!

live out loud faith

It's funny. The term live out loud. There is a Christian song about it, and the phrase "Have a life out loud faith" has been something I have heard more than once or twice. I like to think that I do live my faith out loud... or loud enough.

The song is beautiful. Find the lyrics right here. It paints this beautiful picture of how Christians get this ultimate gift of the sacrifice of Jesus, and suddenly we should never feel the need or the urge to keep our mouths closed about that ever again. And I think that is pretty accurate. I mean, I know that my faith is real, and I will share my faith and my story openly and honestly. But what happens to our voice when we are struggling with our faith?

Now, let me clarify that I still believe in the gospel, and I still think it is the most beautiful and honest love story of my life. I still know that without the constant love of God in my life that my life will be darker, emptier, and without the meaning and intention I live with now.

But I am referring to those times in which we question God. We question his love for us, his intention, his grace, and the promises made to us. The times in which we doubt God. I know that is a gasp moment - no one likes to hear that christians doubt, especially Christians who are supposed to have it all together. But not only do christians doubt, but they struggle and they fall too. Are we supposed to live those moments at loud too?

For a long time, I thought no. I didn't see that from my christian leaders or many of my friends. We are supposed to have it all together, in case someone sees us making the wrong case for Christ. I had heard the standard verses of encouragement "it is in our weakness that he is glorified" "take heart daughter, your faith has healed you" "everything is possible for him who believes" and "see to it that none of you have sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from God." Maybe I just never had that transparency before.

But I think that those struggles do need to be out loud. I think it's ok to say that we are afraid. I think it's ok to say that we don't understand God. I think it's ok even to challenge him and ask that he reveal how he is working when we don't see it. And even though these times are dark for us, we can rest assured that the light is something we are being guided back to. I think of that as the 'polishing' for us. I am reminded of two of my favorite verses from the bible, and let me first start by telling you why they are my favorite. They are so honest. I love the simplicity and honesty of both of them. The one is Matthew 13- a merchant finds a pearl that is so beautiful, so flawless, that he sells everything he has to buy that one pearl. Could you imagine one of your friends selling everything he or she owns for a perfect flawless item? No car, no nice apartment, no walk in closet, no sushi dinners... but that's ok, because he or she is the proud owner of that one most perfect and flawless thing, and nothing else matters.

And my other favorite is from Mark 9. Actually it immediately follows one of those encouraging verses I mentioned above. Jesus is confronted by a man who's son has been afflicted for most of his life, and he asks Jesus "If you can do anything, have pity on us and help!" I mean we can almost feel the desperation in this father's request. I picture him completely broken, exhausted. Wondering why these things have happened to him and to his son. Questioning what the reason or good from that situation is. I can identify with this father. I am there. I am sorting through a difficult and seemingly overwhelming, unusual, and unfair pile of crap (for lack of a more appropriate term). I can see him approaching Jesus, wanting to scream out for attention, just praying for an end to the hardship, a rest... even if just for a while. Jesus says back to him "If I can? Everything is possible if you believe." Jesus sounds like one of my friends here. "if I can?!?" Common... what's up? You serious? You are asking if I can do that?? Well, obviously!" And the man's response is (wait for it, this is the best part of the story) "I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!" I mean wow. How honest is that? I can hear my own words echoed in this story "I know it God, I know you! But I don't understand, I am wondering... questioning. I can't believe this all on my own, help me to rest in that faith!" Jesus then proceeds to heal the boy, and when others asked "why couldn't we help the boy?" He responds "This can only be taken care of by prayer." Here is another interesting point of that story. Between the middle and the end, no one retreats from the scene or whips out a bible for some prayer. No one recites words to the Our Father, or hits their knees in series of well-practiced thoughts and requests. The only thing that preceeds the healing of the boy is the honest confession and plea of the man to Jesus.

Yea, we struggle. And I keep that in more often that I should, this I know. I don't like to open up about how effected I am by things, how hurt, empty, pained, lonely, exhausted, or battered by things I am. But living out loud. Proclaiming that plea, "I hear you, but help me know it, feel it, believe it" is necessary. That is how we become less flawed. We are getting scrubbed so that we can more closely see ourselves looking like that pearl that is worth EVERYTHING the merchant owns. So I commit to living out loud in ALL areas of my faith, not just when I have the answers and feel full of love and encouragment for others.

The one other thing that has come together to move me to such a blog post, is actually a song by a sweet band named The Script. They have a song called the man that can't be moved. It has nothing to do with God. It is a beautiful love song about a man and his unrequieted love for a woman who is gone. I get the impression that there is a great love there, and she is upset, or angry, not out of love. And even if she is, the man clings to the faith that she will return when she realizes how much she is missing. But I thought about God. I thought about being that girl. I look around, knowing that I have a great love, a great romance, but I am tired, upset, and need to leave - get away. But he is waiting. Right where they met. For however long it takes for her to come back. He is devoted and dedicated to waiting for her. Just waiting... and knowing that she will come back. You can laugh at me for over analyzing, but you can not deny the beautiful story in the song.

Play the song loud, and live your life loudly. Don't worry about what you're saying, so long as it's worth it.