I want to be genuine.
I want to be a positive influence on the people around me.
I want my laughter and smiles and joy to catch like wildfire when I am around others.
I want to bring hope to the people I love, work with, lead with, and encounter randomly.
I want to be a living image of Christ to others.
In a world where we are always being regimented. Where we are always on the move. Always compartmentalizing our lives and interests. Always concerned with ourselves.
I want to be a person really and truly dedicated and in love with others because they are beautiful and perfect in every way.
The world really needs more of that, don't you think?
Chronicles of a Fake Grown-Up
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
dink, dink, dink, dink...
Jack Bauer has returned!!
Albeit, this time only in my dreams...
Last night I had the best dream - of all times - and just felt the need to blog about it!
So last night, roundabout 4am I was recruited by Jack Bauer. He was in a tight spot, and as it turns out that there was a corrupt embassy holding Peruvian cargo crates of oil that was desperately needed in a hospital across the ocean in Bethesda. (Which, if you know anything about DC, there is no ocean dividing Washington DC and Bethesda...)
And he needed ME.
So there I am, dressed up in my kevlar vest, moving my way through a hidden underground section of the Peruvian Embassy. Jack Bauer and I are working together, one team, to defeat the bad guys.
At one point, Jack turns to me, grabs my shirt and says "We do NOT have time! We need to get this oil out of here and into the hospital now! There is a medical evac passing by here in 3 minutes, take this!" And he hands me this extra strength wire-reinforced rope. So I climb up the ladder in the corner put some explosives on the roof, and grab a wire hanger and my detonator. I fashion the wire hanger to be a cargo carry and tie it to the rope. 20 seconds later, I detonate the roof, and throw the wire/rope up to catch on the runners of the helicopter flying overhead. Next thing you know, I am in the air, fastening the hold between the wire hanger and the rope. I take a deep breath and as we fly over the DC Ocean, I look back at Jack Bauer, hoping - and secretly knowing - that he would be ok. I look forward at the hospital, and knowing that the oil will get back in time, I dive into the ocean. Ready to wash my hands of this mission and be ready and willing for the next time Jack Bauer needs the help of the incincible Jen Potts.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Oh to grace how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be...
... Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
This song has struck me over and over again, and may be one of my favorite songs of praise. It is very honest, and so beautiful! This part up there is just an excerpt, of a song that I like to share willingly.
This has been a very difficult weekend. I came face to face my with own sinfulness and vulnerability in a way I haven't in a very long time. I am still trying to process everything, and have no intention of making this some sort of published internet confession. But out of the bad, I have been able to see the good. I have realized many of my own shortcomings, and many of the shortcomings that I present to God. It's like giving a teacher a book report for a book you never read. Handing over this crumpled mess of something you downloaded from sparknotes and tried to make sense of - all the while still expecting an A.
Fortunately, my teacher is more merciful and powerful than the teachers from Phoenixville High School...
But there is no reason I should be handing in half-written book reports. My teacher deserves the best, and how fast I am to forget that sometimes! It actually pains me to see that ugliness that I have been handing off as my best, and realizing that I was created to enjoy the whole book! And that really the book is beautiful and tragic and funny, and everything you would imagine from a novel from the best author... but I missed it to downgrade to the sparknotes version.
But I do need to offer praise where praise is due, because along with realizing my own incompetence and utter need for undeserved grace... I have been blessed with many great friends.
There are some friends that you just know will be at your wedding, and there when you call them, and the first to laugh with you, and the first to cry with you. Those are the friends that enrich your life, teach you, make you grow and love in ways you never thought you could. I know mine. Nadine- the most humble and beautiful woman in my life who has walked beside me through it all and never loved me less because of it. Beth - she is the best sister I could have ever imagined; so in love with life, and so driven to see it lived fully. Emily - one of the kindest and most selfless girls I have ever met. Lita - so strongly encouraging and supportive, while never letting her charisma fail or her mouth run out of words of joy and love. Kyle - who has seen all my downs and all my ups, and can laugh at me and with me, but still be there as the big brother I never had. Jackie - the forever friend. One of the most head over heels in love with her Lord people I have ever met, and so devoted to the people she loves in life. Steve - a man who's honesty and authenticity just pours out of him in everything he does.
This post is here not so they will see this (maybe one or two of them at most actually read this - and that is only when I make them...) but because they need to be praised. But that is my current troop (not a full list of the people that I love) but the people that for where I am right now physically, spiritually, and emotionally have been the type of warriors I want on my team. Pushing me to be better, draw closer, search harder, and never accept less than what I am intended for. And I praise them and thank them for that in ways they will never even know, and likewise I praise God for the blessing each one of them has been.
It is odd to look at a situation that could have been bad, and to fully understand it all, but also to just be so overwhelmed with joy and love and grace. I am so thankful right now for this beautiful mess I am, and that I have a God who wants all of that, and that also wants to give me friends who can handle that.
This has been a very difficult weekend. I came face to face my with own sinfulness and vulnerability in a way I haven't in a very long time. I am still trying to process everything, and have no intention of making this some sort of published internet confession. But out of the bad, I have been able to see the good. I have realized many of my own shortcomings, and many of the shortcomings that I present to God. It's like giving a teacher a book report for a book you never read. Handing over this crumpled mess of something you downloaded from sparknotes and tried to make sense of - all the while still expecting an A.
Fortunately, my teacher is more merciful and powerful than the teachers from Phoenixville High School...
But there is no reason I should be handing in half-written book reports. My teacher deserves the best, and how fast I am to forget that sometimes! It actually pains me to see that ugliness that I have been handing off as my best, and realizing that I was created to enjoy the whole book! And that really the book is beautiful and tragic and funny, and everything you would imagine from a novel from the best author... but I missed it to downgrade to the sparknotes version.
But I do need to offer praise where praise is due, because along with realizing my own incompetence and utter need for undeserved grace... I have been blessed with many great friends.
There are some friends that you just know will be at your wedding, and there when you call them, and the first to laugh with you, and the first to cry with you. Those are the friends that enrich your life, teach you, make you grow and love in ways you never thought you could. I know mine. Nadine- the most humble and beautiful woman in my life who has walked beside me through it all and never loved me less because of it. Beth - she is the best sister I could have ever imagined; so in love with life, and so driven to see it lived fully. Emily - one of the kindest and most selfless girls I have ever met. Lita - so strongly encouraging and supportive, while never letting her charisma fail or her mouth run out of words of joy and love. Kyle - who has seen all my downs and all my ups, and can laugh at me and with me, but still be there as the big brother I never had. Jackie - the forever friend. One of the most head over heels in love with her Lord people I have ever met, and so devoted to the people she loves in life. Steve - a man who's honesty and authenticity just pours out of him in everything he does.
This post is here not so they will see this (maybe one or two of them at most actually read this - and that is only when I make them...) but because they need to be praised. But that is my current troop (not a full list of the people that I love) but the people that for where I am right now physically, spiritually, and emotionally have been the type of warriors I want on my team. Pushing me to be better, draw closer, search harder, and never accept less than what I am intended for. And I praise them and thank them for that in ways they will never even know, and likewise I praise God for the blessing each one of them has been.
It is odd to look at a situation that could have been bad, and to fully understand it all, but also to just be so overwhelmed with joy and love and grace. I am so thankful right now for this beautiful mess I am, and that I have a God who wants all of that, and that also wants to give me friends who can handle that.
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