But not me.
My time is done. No more campaigner Sunday afternoons, crazy club games and skits, club talks that seem to stress me out until I give in, give it all to God and suddenly I have something worthwhile to share with the kids. No more laughing about how silly our club games were on Thursday, or taking goofy pictures of kids with pots on their heads and lolipops in their mouths. I will miss the days of cuddling together with my younglife friends during cabin times, and club talks, and praying with them through the hard times, and the rare but most beautiful moment of all - when they want to talk to you about changing their life to have a REAL relationship with God. All of the mentioned moments have been some of my absolute favorite over the last 4 years.
I have loved my time as a Younglife leader. It has taught me humility, selflessness, the servanthood and grace of Christ, and how to push on through the tiredness to have that late night conversation with a kid, let them cry on your shoulder, and spend tons of time/energy/money/all the above to try to be where kids are and pursue them. It has taught me the pleasure of being a kid, living life, finding joy, and the satisfaction when you know you are accepted just for who you are. Because of Younglife I know what dubstep is, can sing more Justin Bieber songs than I would like to admit, have have at least 2,307 car rides screaming Taylor Swift songs at the top of my lungs, I bravely bought a pair of skinny jeans, I have learned how to create no less than 7 interesting prom hairstyles, and know that high school boys are just as cute/adorable/frustrating/obnoxious as they were when I was in high school.
I went to graduation for the high school the other day. They asked the pivitol people in the kid's lives to stand. They started with parents, and then grandparents and siblings, and then teachers. They never asked for youth leaders to stand up. And I love that - I think every youth group leader does. The one thing I have learned over the last four years, is that it isn't about what we've done for our high school friends. God placed me as a leader to learn that - I think - because I can so easily make life about me. The last four years I have gotten to see God more clearly, and been able to try my hardest to grow more like the others-focused, loving servant that Christ perfectly modeled. There may be times where we question our impact on a kid's life, but we are so quickly reminded that it isn't about US and what WE are doing with the kids - it is what HE is doing for THEM, and how fortunate we are to be used in that way.
And at graduation, as each of those kids are sitting there, they are waiting for the moment that they walk across the stage. They are revisiting what their time in high school meant, what they stood for, what they are leaving behind. And it's all about them. Welcome to being a YL leader. It is all about them. We love them for who they are (and as frustrating as it is, we love them for their mistakes too). It is so great to know that because I have been given the gift to spend time with them, some of those kids have had encounters with Christ through high school. And some got it, and some didn't. But they are all off to new things now. And I don't get to go with them. If I am lucky, I get to stay in touch with them and share a wonderful friendship with them. But where they are going - I don't get to. God does. And for any time I ever (selfishly) felt under appreciated, stretched too thin, or taken advantage of, I know that I did it in the name of Christ, and to draw them closer to a God who loves them and wants life with them. And hopefully for most of those kids I've met, they will let him go where they are going.
Leaving Younglife is a sad sort of contentment. I will miss this graduating class, just as I've missed the ones before it. I will miss leading YL for the girls that are still at RM for the next year(s). But I know that I have been set aside so Christ could use me and bless me, and now it's time for someone else to have that blessing, and I hope they love every moment as much as I have.
Congratulations RM ROCKETS 2012!!
