I have this gift...

It is a gift from God. And I know and understand that the world is much bigger than me, and much more beautiful than what I allow myself to see through my own eyes of business and scheduling. But there is one thing, that no matter what - will always set me in a beautiful mood and make me marvel in awe at beauty. It is a lily.

"I see a lily on thy brow.

With anguish moist and fever dew;

And on thy cheek a fading rose.

Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meadow.

Full, beautiful, a fairy's child;

Her hair was long, her foot was light,

And her eyes were wild."

~ John Keats

"I know a little garden close

Set thick with lily and red rose;

Where I would wander if I might

From dewy dawn til dewy night;

And have one with me wandering."

~William Morris

There is just something so amazing about lilies. The complexity. The variety. The majesty. Each type of lily is different, grows in different areas in the world, and forms differently. I feel that lilies are God's gift to each person. The way they grow and command that you pay attention with their detail and color and majesty. It really just reminds me of how beautiful everything is created when the creator is as beautiful and creative as anything we could ever imagine. And he delighted in the creation of each item. Some people get very moved by sunrises, mountaintop views, freshly fallen snow, and so do I - they are so beautiful. However, nothing stirs in my heart quite like a lily in full bloom. It reminds me that if the Lord could create a flower that beautiful - how much more beautiful am I in His eyes?

:-)

I like to have faith in people...

I know that I can be very selfish and only watch out only for what I think it good for me. It is at times like that that I look around myself and realize just how ugly I can be, although fearfully and wonderfully made. However, I still have that general sinful dynamic of human nature to be concerned and obsessed with ME. And that isn't my only struggle. I also struggle with judging others. I am quick to notice the splinter in his eye, without notice to the log in my own. This became abundantly clear to me today.

Here I am, metro-ing into work in Virginia. I am in the front train of the metro and it is about 6:45am. I look at the train behind me and see the same thing I see in my own train. It is so full there are no seats available and the standing room is littered with individuals standing and holding on to the metal bars for safe travel. Then I notice a young guy, probably not much older than me, making his way through the train on crutches. This gentlemen is obviously looking for a seat, and no one offers him one. So he works his way up to my train (unfortunately I was standing) and again works his way up the train looking for a seat. People in seats are watching him limp by and not so much as consider budging for this man. It was really a shame. This poor man got all the way up to the front 4 seats and there was a kind person who offered up his seat for the gentleman. I was so ashamed for the selfishness and sinfullness of all humans at that moment. Including myself!

In the same metro ride, there was this guy on one side of me. Again, young like my age. This guy, however, was an able bodied guy. He wasn't even holding on to the rail for balance as he played his video game with his headphones on. We get to Friendship Heights (at this point many people have been standing throughout the whole trip) and I notice one woman in a seat begin to move, as if she was leaving the train. My first thought was about the weight of my own purse on my shoulder, which is surely digging into my skin and making the thought of sitting down much more appealing. Then I notice a lady, significantly older than myself, significantly smaller than myself, and realized that that seat should probably be reserved for her. Instead, this young able bodied man practically lunged after this seat, and doing what I thought was in my own call to service, I practically jumped in front of him and grabbed on to the metal handle, blocking his way to the seat. I nodded at the older woman while pretending to this younger gentlemen to be confused at why he was trying to push me out of his way. Once the woman sat down, I stepped back and am sure that for a full second this man could have punched me if he wanted too.

My first thought was immediately, who are you, feeling so entitled to have the chair. Why would a young man like you not willfully give up your seat for an obviously elderly woman? For any woman, but especially for an obviously older woman. What is this world coming to, why are we so mean and selfish? I pondered that for probably a solid 2 or three minutes. I know we had gotten to the next metro stop when it really dawned on me - Who am I to judge him like that? Even to judge the woman as someone in more need of seat? I am sure that the judgement I reserved for this guy was negative and not glorifying to God in any way, and I can absolutely confess that I was looking for the flaws in his eye rather than my own. But also to judge this woman. Why was I pitying her? What made me feel I had the power to judge this woman as helpless or needy?

I immediately stopped and prayed for these two people. Not for the guy to be less selfish, or the woman to be stronger and more youthful, but just that they have a great day - peppered with thoughts of God - whether they already believe or not. It made me realize that any judgement I make based on my own knowledge is not wise, and that even judgement about myself is made in an unwise and uneducated manner.

It was a pretty sobering event stemming from a simple interaction on the metro. Funny how life works like that sometimes...