Unknown

I like knowing the answers to questions before I ask them.
I like knowing that 1 + 5 = 6.
I like having plans, and seeing that plan work out.

But on the reverse, I like learning new things about a person.
I like when people and things surprise you.
I like that feeling when what you thought you knew about yourself was only a fraction.
I like when things look like they are going to fall apart, but then pull together in a way no one could have expected.
I like adventure, and I like being challenged. 
I like changing up my routine, but need the dicipline of a somewhat structured schedule.

Hi, I'm Jennifer, and I'm a walking oxymoron.

My roommate is getting married 2 months from Sunday.  That is soon.  That means that within about a month and a half, I need to find a place to live, and I need to move there.  I need to pack up my life and move to __________. 

I would really like to have that blank filled in.  There are so many questions right now.  House or apartment?  Nice place where I can LOVE where I live, or decent place where I can AFFORD to live?  Will I live on my own, or with others?  What will my commute to/from work look like?  Will Gracie come right away?  Or will I have to send her up to PA until I can find something more structured? 


I feel like I'm about to dive into the unknown.



I have started looking but it has caused me a lot of anxiety.  I know that I have backup plans, but is a backup plan without my dog really a backup plan?  I'm gonna throw up a hail mary pass right here.  I've seen this before where somehow things just happened to work out with my old roommate KJohns, and I trust that it will happen again - even though I don't know how the game is gonna be played. 

You know, it's scary - not knowing.  Especially when it is something big like where I will live!   But I have trusted God before when it looked scary, and I am really excited to trust him again!  Time to step to him, and walk on the water and take some bold steps!

Found a cute story when looking for a good image for right here: http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/01/31/how-to-walk-on-water/

However scary it is, I know I'm the person to embrace adventure.  So, I go to my users-guide of life, draw out the map of my adventure, and set off.  (Hint: I've included peices of my map right below here!)

Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. *Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Therefore, do not be anxious, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' (Or 'Where shall I live?' could fit nicely here)  For they seek after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.  Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  *Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)

It's nice to not have to worry about things.  To trust that his promises do not fall short.  And in the skydive of life, he's our parachute.  (Have I mentioned I'm going SKYDIVING?!?)

You don't have to tell me how cheesy I am, I already know it.

Life is so good.  And I do believe, it's getting better <3

Adventures!!

Yep.  I'm going to here at the end of April.  Oh, and here.  And I get to see some old roommates and younglife friends.  And... maybe I'll go here for a day too, and see this awesome thing.

I'm jumping out of a plane with some friends that I love.

I'm moving into a new house or apartment.

And this morning I signed up for my first ever half marathon.


ahhhhhh!  things are going pretty well you might say.  There is a lot of change going on.  A lot of adventure.  One change coming up is me stepping out of Younglife next year.  Since moving to the DC area I have been a Younglife leader.  And my first year was SO trying.  I felt like no matter what I did, I couldn't break into those girl's hearts.  Well, I figured out why.  I needed to let them break into mine.  And I did.  And I LOVE those girls so much, and am delighted to watch them grow with God after leaving high school.  I had 8th graders who grew into high schoolers, who I have walked through the last 3 years of their lives with.  

So what's next for me?  What's next for them?  I know that leading where I was was NO mistake on God's part, and he reminded me of that every week.  But what now?  This is one adventure I am ready and excited to seek out what he has in store for me.

What's a girl to do?

I'm getting back to my old self, after a few weeks of health issues (almost going to the emergency room, sinus infection, etc) stressing to get up to PA for a family event, trying to find a place to live, and dealing with the peak of work stress.  I am usually laid back, but this week has been exhausting.

So what's a girl to do?



I mean, easy decision...



Ahhhh... suddenly everything seems a little better :-)

That, and well this: Great Music Playlist

Life is so good.  And I do believe, it's getting better <3

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Family and Facebook

Ok, so my old Catholic roots are coming out in me, and I've given up a few things for Lent, so that I can use my time, relationships, and money less for myself and more for focusing on God.  So far, I am pleased, and it has not been easy!  One thing I gave up was facebook.  Which I almost messed up three times, when I just out of habit clicked the icon on my bookmark toolbar.  Thank goodness I undid the auto-login.

But I have some great pictures from my trip home that will have to wait until Easter to make it up to facebook, but I felt that I owed it at least to my blog.

Home was AMAZING.  Seriously, if you couldn't tell from my last post, I LOVE my family.  So enjoy some pictures from my time home for my grandma's 80th.  

"If you eat the wasabi, we will give you 20 bucks."  Apparently that means you get "bucked" at like a chicken 20 times.

OMG, I love them.

So beautiful, and not at all awkward.

"Hannah had this great new idea.  She put some soy sauce in the bowl for her sushi.  And THEN she put in wasabi.  So creative!"

Trying each other's favorites

He's a balla

Awww... brotherly love.

<3

Me and gram.  It took fourteen tries, because every picture we took turned out like...

this.   Yep.  Enough said.

Not rotated.  Who cares?  My brother, everyone!

Our regular photo shoot.  Only 1/20th of the shots made it here.

Sisters?

Struggling, the other wrestling pictures didn't make it here.

Trying to prove I love her.

HOT

But I'm leavingggggg!

But for reals... this is why I love mah seester.

Pretty ballin goalie

And another great save by my brother.  The awesome goalie.

Tired much?

That is my weekend summed up in pictures.  I just loved so much being home with my parents, and can not wait to see them again for Easter!  Happy Saturday everyone, now get out while the weather is getting nicer!  :-)

Life is so good, and I do believe it's getting better <3

JOY

You know that feeling? That feeling of missing someone?
And than that feeling after missing them for weeks, or months, or years, and finding out YOU GET TO SEE THEM!!

This weekend I am trekking back to the motherland. The land of Eagles, and Wawa, and Herr's potato chips, and where everyone talks about roadtrips to the Shady Maple Smorgesboard, and 'da shore.' And now the Phillies are in spring training, so I know I am heading home again when I start seeing more red Phillies phlags flags on cars on 95N. I will really start to feel at home again as I drive through farm country on Route 1, pass the 'Pennsylvania welcomes you' sign, hop on 202 as memories of skipping school for Exton and West Chester start flooding my mind again.

And then when I get into those familiar backroads of Pville, and pass friends homes, my old high school, where the Val Rio used to be, 56 pizza places and nail salons, the NEW bridge street, and inevitably slam on my brakes when I see a new stop light last minute, the excitement and joy will start pumping through my body.

When I turn into Applewood, pass the waterfall, get to my cul-de-sack with the creek and the pond, and drive up my long, steep, winding drivway and come home to the invinsible (and miraculously still alive) 16 year old dog, my brother, my sister, and my parents, I will forget completely that I have a whole new life in another place, and just be a sister and daughter.

Friday I will go with roomie for a dress fitting and to find a veil for her upcoming wedding!  (S- if you are reading this, shout out to you and your fiance, and I am so excited for you both and praying for your upcoming marriage so much!)  Then I load up my jeep and head up north, because...  this weekend grams turns 80!  I will not only see my dozens of cousins and plethora of aunts and uncles, but celebrate a huge milestone in Grams' life.

Then out with my friends and my sister.  Because my sister is old enough to go out!  But not without first snuggling and catching up with my teenage brother a bit (ps... if any of his friends saw this, mancard may be revoked!)

Saturday I see Jay.  I have blogged about Jay before, and still feel so blessed that he was and is in my life, and my life is forever changed because of this man, and he will never understand the impact he has had on me.  Currently Jay is still recovering from a car accident that left him in a bed since April 2007, and I very rarely get to see him.  Which means it's time to print out pictures and figure out which great stories I want to share with him!

Then THE FAMILY is coming in.  Not my plethora of cousins and aunts and uncles, but I'm talking the EXTENDED family.  Not sure how we will all fit into one place, but very excited to see specifically the Brooklyn group - the twins that I nannied for years ago are now 16 years old and grown up!  Unbelieveable!  I hope their step-bro comes too.  I love those kids like WHOA. 

I plan to take a lot of pictures and decorate the blog with an abundance of them when I return next week.  It's just so exciting to see family and friends that I love so much and rarely see, and I can not fully describe how full of joy I am, and how this weekend can NOT come quickly enough! 

I plan to spend Saturday night with the friends that have shaped my life, and again - more with my siblings as well.  Sunday I am hoping to visit one of my Younglife kids who has been up in the PA/MD area for a while.  I miss him terribly, and would LOVE to see him for a few hours if I can swing it. 

It's times like this, those moments of wonderful anticipation, of love, of joy, and pure passion to live every moment and not miss a beat.  I cherish the people I will be spending time with this weekend, and will cherish every moment of seeing them. 

Life is so good... 

And I do believe, it's getting better <3

Dear Future Husband,

So one day you will come around to me, and that's fine, for now you should just take your time, because I have a few other things on my plate right now.  But just so you know from the beginning here is a little bit of what you can expect from me...

I will always let you play sports/watch sports/dress for sports.  Just don't rip on my Philly teams too much or you may find yourself sleeping on the couch.

I don't care if you want to have lazy Saturday mornings, but Sundays - you are taking me to church.

I don't mind being the full time work mom, pick up the kids on the way home mom, the cooking dinner and doing a load of laundry and then putting the kids to bed before I ever think about getting into bed myself mom- as long as you remind me that I'm pretty and that you love me.

I don't care if you think small dogs are pointless.  I do too.

I don't care that you want to have guy weekends, because TRUST me, as much as I love you, I will need a break from you too.

I can hang out with your guy friends, have a beer, and hold my own in the guy arena - but you will ALWAYS need to kill the bugs.

I will wake up before work to work out so I still look like a cute hot wife, but know that my alarm clock only semi-helps, so you may need to intervene.  Every morning.

I know that you may not care about cleaning and hosting and parties, but I do, so pretend like they are awesome.

I will always try to love your mom.

I will wear a dress and listen to country music and dance while I clean the house.  Just embrace it.

I will always insist on singing in the car.  You mind as well get used to it now or purchase earplugs.

I will never drive a minivan.

I expect that you will win when I challenge you to a race or a game of tennis, but you better at least pretend that I might win for a minute.

My idea of a fancy dinner is a hike with a wine picnic - no reservation required.  I love the outdoors.

I will probably not ever watch Star Wars with you.  If you want me to, you better butter me up with lillies or sunflowers first (not roses), and prepare to suffer snuggle through Breakfast at Tiffany's with me.

and finally... the reason for my post today:
I almost like giving back massages more than I like getting them.  I said ALMOST.

This Ain't Yo Mama's Workplace!

So... it's been a rough week.  I have (in this order) have had no air (literally, not in the way that Jordin Sparks sings it), no debit card, no money, no voice, no car.

Needless to say, it's been quite a week, and the majority of it I have been out of the office, working from home, sleeping, driving to dr's apointments, NOT driving to doctor's appointments, etc.

BUT.

It's Friday.

Spring is coming.

I can breathe again.

My car is in the shop which means I'm not going anywhere.

Debit card has been reported.  Money is now where it belongs - in my bank account.

And short of my mystery diagnosis, things seemed pretty under control this morning.

But I never imagined how nice it would turn out.

I am sitting on my back porch.

Drinking green tea.

My dog is sleeping at my feet.

Taylor Swift music is playing in the background.

My hair is big and curly.

And I'm rocking my sunglasses.

Yea, this ain't yo momma's office, but pretty sure that this is a great and amazing day.

And also, I am blessed to have the friends that I do that got me through this chaotic ridiculous week.

Life is so good, and I do believe, it's getting better...

Love the One you're with...

Or what is the point?

This valentine's day might have been the best Valentine's day of my life (so far).  Ok, at the risk of looking like a heartless woman, I broke up with a fine guy I have been seeing for a little while now on Sunday.  It was fine, amicable, and we still plan on being friends, but the point still remains that I did it the day before Valentine's day.  And people have called me out on it.  It seems that a few people have some very strong opinions about my actions, and to that I say - what's the point?

I honestly believe that the sheer shallowness of Valentine's day has reached a new high.

Valentine's day is not about getting flowers at work.
Having a boyfriend.
Going out to a nice dinner.

Seriously, what is the point of being with someone on Valentine's day if you can't celebrate your feelings for each other?

I asked my co-worker John what he and his wife did for Valentine's day.  He responded "Nothing.  I worked and then we went home and had dinner.  Same old same old."  That  sounded so sad to me!  So I told him "That sounds like the best way to spend valentine's day to me.  A dinner in, celebrating your love, but your life together too."  Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me, but it made him laugh and say, "You know, you are right.  And every day should be valentine's day."  I like John, he's an adorable old man.

But I say that all to say that after a decade of having Valentine's - sometimes even going out of my way to  secure one, I realized that maybe my ultimate Valentine's day is myself!  Since I don't have anyone I love this year, or see a future with, why pretend on the most romantic day of the year?  Yesterday I woke up early, swam with my friend E, worked, came home early, went on a 4.5 mile jog, and had a delicious dinner of brown rice, broccoli, and a sweet potato!  A fine dessert of a pudding cup, a glass of red wine, and the bachelor - in my pjs.

In small group we are going through the study of Esther "It's tough being a woman" by Beth Moore.  She said something in our study last week.  "I looked at this woman I just met, and I loved her.  And it was a love stronger than you can attribute to a stranger.  I knew I was loving this woman even a little bit of the way that God loves her."  It stopped me in my tracks.  Do I love others the way God loves them?  Do I love MYSELF the way God loves me?  My simple answer was no on both fronts, and that has both challenged and convicted me to raise the bar on what I feel is appropriate standards.

So happy Valentine's day!  I hope you kiss the one you love, pray a little extra for them, and remember that love is an amazing, powerful thing that looks past simple imperfections, and we are all blessed to be as loved as we are.  And if you don't have one that you love, I hope you are able to recognize that one loves you enough to sacrifice himself in the most graceful unjust way possible.  Love yourself, and love others.  The God of the Universe thought you were worth it, why try to prove him wrong?

I've got that itch...

Winter has been fine this year.  Got some sledding done, built an epic snowman, shoveled my driveway, skied, snowboarded, bundled up with soup and a heating blanket, wore comfy sweats and sweaters, swam in the morning before the sun came up, celebrated Christmas and New Year's and Thanksgiving with people I love and big smile. 

But it's now February.  I am ready for spring and summer to come.

I'm ready for:

Sitting outside at the Rio after church

The Beach

Sundresses

Windows open in my Jeep with Taylor Swift singing

denim skirts

big sunglasses

sunshine

long days

outdoor concerts

barbeques

running without the threat of snowbanks and black ice

races

lemonade and cold bottled water

fresh strawberries

playing tennis and soccer gamesflowers

baseball

Shamrockin Eve and Parade Day in Scranton

the beach

country music

long walks with the pup

summer camp with Younglife

the smell of cut grass

Weekend trips with friends

water ice at Carmen's or Rita's

lower heating bills

Fireflies

the beach

wave runners and water skis

being able to hang out at The National Mall & Sculpture Garden for hours

Wine and picnics with friends

the Fourth of July

baseball - go Phillies

skydiving

hiking

the beach

flip flops

Yea.  I'm there.  Bring it 2011.  The groundhog says spring's comin soon, so let's move it.  I'm there.

Bought my ticket!

Ok, so I can be a bit of a scardy cat sometimes, but one thing I have wanted to do for a long time was to go skydiving.  Well, the ticket is bought, and this year my friends, I will be going to Sportations, via Living Social.  (PS... if you don't do LivingSocial or Groupon, you MUST.  IMMEDIATELY.)  I can not wait to share with you all about my daredevil adventures!

My 2011 Rockstar Picture!

My best friend and I ringing in the new year right!

Some that I love!  Bagel.KJohn.Cuppa.Me!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...

Eggs and Cuppa!  1/2 of the complete breakfast <3

See how much I love my Derwood friends?

I've always been a beautiful cheerleader - even for extreme ping pong!

Enjoying the snow and taking advantage of the snow!

Getting some sweet air

Add caption

At least I didn't end up in the creek!


The best friend of my whole life on a sledding adventure with me!

Is peace spreading in the Falcon's nest?  Grace and Neko snuggling?!?

In the meantime, loving this snow out here in the DC metro area.  Between hanging out with new people, and having friends in town for New Year's and getting back into events with my church family - like progressive dinners and game nights, 2011 has started off with a great bang!  Can't wait to see what the rest of the year entails.  (Shoutout to E who has been my faithful 2011 swimming buddy!)